So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
