did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
