Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
