I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Best friends brother. Beat that.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
