my sisters under your porch take her home
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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