Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
