Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
