So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
