Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
