So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
