I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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