how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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