when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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