i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
