Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Buhtt sex?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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