can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
