We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize