Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize