Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
