And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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