I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize