i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
