gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
