I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There's always time for handjobs
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Randomize
