Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
