Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
