lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
