Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
