I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize