I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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