Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
