Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
