He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
