Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
