So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
