then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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