we're blogging at a bar
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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