did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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