haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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