i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Can I color on your dick again?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
