Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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