Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
