Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
