Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
