I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
