Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
