I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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