Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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