The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
