He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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