I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Sober January is a disaster.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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