Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You made out with two different species that night
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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