Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
