he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
