dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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