i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
