physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
