he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
