yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Jerry, you need to find god
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
