Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
