he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
