it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My breasts were aching with rage.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
